Category: Expectations

Surrender

Surrender Grasping.  I recognize it is what I do when it feels like I am just wandering, ungrounded. It’s like slowly melting down a hole while trying to hold on or grab whatever you can off of the slippery sides. And now, I’m back in

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Energy Leaks

Energy Leaks It feels so easy to coach everyone else. In speaking with people, it is so obvious to me where someone’s blocks are, where they are going “wrong” in their lives, decisions & businesses, & what they need to do to get the results

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Best Date Ever

Today fate put me in a car from the farm to Jaco to meet my babies with yet another interesting and beautiful creature so full of lessons. My drive to Jaco with Pat was yet another, super clear sign from the universe. The farm was

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Today I Ate an Ant

Mar.6 – Journal Entry Summer Vosburgh is travelling today. My thoughts go to her. Sitting here with no internet, I just trust. Funny how it happened, seems perfect. AND scary. Denise is gone and my neighbours leave tonight. Some nerves happening for me about being alone.

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Aya Camp Entry #7?

Ceremony #7 A perfect end. After the usual terrifying piece, all calmed. I built a world under blankets and felt all the sensations – Visual, auditory & physical. Overwhelming sensations. Why does it have to be so terrible? I talk myself through it. What comes

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Enlightenment

Before enlightenment – chop the wood, carry the wood, stack the wood. After enlightenment – chop the wood, carry the wood, stack the wood. It feels weird to say, but today I hit enlightenment. Years of being so hard on myself, I cried for. Years.

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The Sweat aka Temazcal

The SWEAT The TEMAZCAL MY intention : to find the strength to carry on and finish the 2 hour ceremony and carry that strength into my life. Analogy : I was shown me walking through an abyss of dark just r eaching out to grab whatever

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Aya Camp – Big breakthrough!

Wow. Travelled all night to get here. Cusco and then the Sacred Valley. Had a massive breakdown today. Sat in the shower and cried. Had a nap, cried somemore. Total fucking breakdown. I didn’t know what to do, under the effects of Medicine and then

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Aya Camp Entry #4 –

Ceremony #4 Journal entry : Judgement. Inner monologue. Hatred. Failure. The last 3 ceremonies have been exactly the same but completely different. Everything highlighting this crazy war I have going on 24/7 with myself. The blame for not loving me shifts from one worthy opponent

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