Meditation: Letting It Happen, One Breath at a Time

Hey Lovely People,

Today, let's chat about something near and dear to my heart: meditation. I often hear folks say, "I'm doing meditation," but here's a little secret – meditation isn't really something you 'do'. It's more like something that 'happens' to you, like falling asleep. You set the stage, get comfy, and let it happen. As a middle-aged, queer yoga teacher, I've seen so many people, from all walks of life, discover the magic of just letting meditation happen. And guess what? You can too!

Meditation: More Than Just Sitting Still

First off, let’s bust a myth: meditation isn't just sitting in silence with your legs crossed and trying to empty your mind. It's about being present, noticing your thoughts (they're totally normal, by the way), and then bringing your attention back to something like your breath or a sound.

The cool thing about meditation is that it’s like giving your brain a little vacation. All day, our minds are like busy bees, buzzing from one thought to another. Meditation is the time when we tell our busy bees to take a break and just chill.

Benefits: Why Meditation is Your Friend

  1. Stress? Bye-Bye!
    • Meditation is amazing at helping to lower stress. It’s like telling your body, “Hey, it’s okay to relax now.”
  2. Hello, Good Sleep!
    • Having trouble sleeping? Meditation can be like a gentle lullaby for your mind, helping you drift off to dreamland more easily.
  3. Focus Like a Laser Beam
    • Regular meditation can help you focus better in your day-to-day life. It’s like training your brain to stay on one channel instead of flipping through a hundred!
  4. Emotional Rollercoaster? Not Anymore!
    • Meditation can help smooth out those emotional ups and downs. It’s like having an inner cushion that softens life’s bumpy rides.

“But I’m Bad at Meditation!” – Nope, You’re Not!

I hear this a lot: “I tried meditating, but I’m just bad at it.” Here’s a little truth bomb – there’s no such thing as being bad at meditation. If your mind wanders (which it will, trust me), that's not failing. That’s just your brain doing brain stuff. The magic is in noticing that and bringing your focus back. It’s like a bicep curl for your brain.

Consistency is Key: Keep Showing Up

Meditation is a practice, and like anything else, it gets more familiar the more you do it. It's not about having a perfect, thought-free session every time. It’s about showing up, again and again, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Think of it like watering a plant. A little bit every day goes a long way.

Creating Your Meditation Space

Find a comfy spot where you can sit or lie down without too many distractions. You don’t need anything fancy – a chair, cushion, or even your bed works. Set a timer for however long you want to meditate. Even five minutes is a great start!

Then, just focus on your breath, a word, or a sound. When your mind wanders (and it will – that’s okay!), gently bring your attention back. That's it! You're meditating!

Remember: It’s a Journey

Meditation is a journey, not a destination. It’s about the experience, not the outcome. Each time you meditate, you’re taking a step towards a calmer, more centered you. And the best part? Everyone can meditate – it's totally inclusive.

Join Our Meditation Circle

If you’re curious about meditation or looking for some friendly guidance, come join one of our meditation sessions. We’re all about creating a kind, caring, and chill space where everyone can explore meditation at their own pace. I have lots of sessions on YouTube or try an immersive experience with Frik-Shuhn's 50 hour Meditation & Pranayama Training.

Until Next Time, Keep breathing and smiling, and remember, meditation is about letting it happen, one breath at a time.

Your Chill Meditation Guide, Colynn

Unveiling Peace: How Yoga Nidra Helps Release Trauma

Introduction: In the quest for inner peace and healing, Yoga Nidra emerges as a powerful tool, especially for those grappling with trauma. At Frik-Shuhn Yoga, we've seen firsthand how this ancient practice can transform lives. Let's delve into the world of Yoga Nidra and its profound impact on trauma release.

Yoga Nidra and Trauma Release:

  1. Understanding Yoga Nidra:
    • Yoga Nidra, or yogic sleep, is a state of conscious deep relaxation. It's more than just a relaxation technique; it's a meditative journey through our layers of self.
  2. The Role of Koshas in Healing:
    • In Yoga Nidra, we explore the five koshas (layers) of our being: the physical body, energy body, mental body, wisdom body, and bliss body. This exploration helps in identifying and releasing deeply held traumas, often residing beyond the reach of our everyday consciousness.

Yoga Nidra for PTSD:

  1. A Newer Approach to Treatment:
    • Traditional PTSD treatments often rely on verbal processing, which can be challenging. Yoga Nidra offers a non-verbal, body-centered approach, allowing individuals to access and release trauma without the need for re-telling or re-living traumatic experiences.
  2. The Science Behind It:
    • Research shows that Yoga Nidra can help recalibrate the nervous system, reducing symptoms of PTSD such as anxiety, insomnia, and depression.

Benefits of Yoga Nidra:

  1. Physical and Mental Relaxation:
    • Yoga Nidra promotes deep relaxation of the body and mind, reducing stress and enhancing overall well-being.
  2. Emotional Release:
    • The practice provides a safe space for emotional release, which is crucial for those who have experienced trauma.
  3. Accessible and Inclusive:
    • Yoga Nidra is accessible to everyone, regardless of physical ability or experience with yoga.

Frik-Shuhn Yoga's 50-Hour Yoga Nidra Training:

  1. Deepen Your Understanding:
    • Our comprehensive 50-hour Yoga Nidra Training is designed to equip you with the knowledge and skills to guide others in this transformative practice.
  2. Join Our Community:

Conclusion: Yoga Nidra is more than just a relaxation technique; it's a journey to self-healing and peace. Through the gentle exploration of our inner layers, we can release trauma and find a state of serenity that resonates in all aspects of our lives.

Discover the Power of Yoga Nidra: Ready to explore the transformative power of Yoga Nidra? Join us at Frik-Shuhn Yoga for an immersive 50-hour training that will change not only how you teach but how you live. Click here to embark on this journey.

Yoga's Not Just for Show: Why Feeling Beats Looking Good

Hey Friends,

Let's chat about something near and dear to my heart (and my yoga mat): the difference between making yoga look good and making it feel good. You've probably seen those picture-perfect yoga poses on Instagram, right? That's aesthetic yoga for you. But here in our cozy yoga corner, we're all about functional yoga. It's less about impressing others and more about connecting with yourself.

Aesthetic Yoga: Looks Good on Camera, But...

  1. Picture-Perfect Pressure:
    • Aesthetic yoga is like those glossy magazine photos – stunning, but not always real. It's about hitting poses that look great, sure, but they might not feel great. And that's a problem.
    • Ever felt like you're not 'doing yoga right' because you can't twist yourself into a pretzel? Yeah, that's the downside of chasing those picture-perfect poses.
  2. When Your Body Says 'Nope':
    • Pushing your body into a pose it's screaming 'no' to? Ouch. That's when yoga stops being yoga and starts being a competition – and not the fun kind.

Functional Yoga: Where Feeling Good is the New Looking Good

  1. Alignment Over Appearance:
    • Here’s the deal with functional yoga – it’s all about how you feel in a pose, not how you look. It's about listening to your body, finding your alignment, and saying, “Hey, body, you’re the boss.”
    • And guess what? It's for every body. Tall, short, big, small – if you've got a body, you're good to go.
  2. No Injuries, Just Bliss:
    • By focusing on how poses feel, we're taking care of our bodies, reducing injury risks, and actually enjoying our practice. It's like giving your body a high-five.

Real Talk from Your Yoga Buddy:

  1. Been There, Felt That:
    • Ever been in a class, trying a pose, and it just feels plain wrong? But everyone else is doing it, so you grit your teeth and bear it? Been there, done that. Not fun.
    • In our world, if a pose feels off, we change it. We adapt. Because yoga is about feeling good, not just looking good.
  2. Feeling It, Not Forcing It:
    • In our classes, it’s all about tuning in to what your body’s saying. We make poses work for us, not the other way around. It’s pretty liberating, actually.

Wrapping Up: So, there you have it. Yoga doesn’t have to be a fashion show. It's about feeling grounded, connected, and, honestly, just not giving a hoot about what others think. It's your practice, your rules.

Come Feel Good with Us: If you’re into feeling great and taking care of your body (while having a bit of fun), drop by for a class. Let’s focus on what feels right, together.

Stay Bendy (Or Not), Your Yoga Pal

Exploring the Depths of the Soul: The Transformative Power of Past Life Regressions

Exploring the Depths of the Soul: The Transformative Power of Past Life Regressions

In the realm of spiritual exploration and personal development, past life regression emerges as a profound technique that delves into the mysterious corridors of the human soul. This practice, often enveloped in mysticism and curiosity, seeks to unveil the hidden narratives of our past incarnations, offering a unique perspective on our current life's journey.

The Essence of Past Life Regression

Past life regression is rooted in the concept of reincarnation, an ancient belief prevalent in numerous cultures and religions. It posits that the soul is eternal, transcending time and physical form, and undergoes a cycle of rebirths. This process of reincarnation allows the soul to evolve through diverse experiences across different lifetimes.

The technique of past life regression typically involves a therapist guiding an individual into a hypnotic state. In this relaxed and focused state of consciousness, the individual is able to access memories and experiences believed to be from past lives. These recollections can be vivid and detailed, often evoking strong emotional responses.

The Therapeutic Potential

The transformative power of past life regression lies in its potential to unearth the deep-seated origins of present-day challenges. Emotional blockages, unexplained fears, and recurring patterns of behavior may find their roots in experiences from past lives. By bringing these to light, individuals can gain profound insights into their current life's struggles, fostering a deeper understanding of their personality, relationships, and life purpose.

Moreover, past life regression can offer a sense of closure or healing. Reliving past experiences and understanding their impact can lead to emotional release and resolution, allowing individuals to move forward with greater clarity and peace.

A Journey of Self-Discovery

Past life regression is not just about uncovering past traumas or resolving present issues. It's a journey of self-discovery, providing a unique opportunity to explore the soul's journey across time. Individuals often discover strengths, talents, and qualities they possessed in past lives, which can be incredibly empowering. This revelation can instill a sense of continuity and purpose, reinforcing the belief in the soul's enduring nature.

The Skeptic's Viewpoint

Despite its popularity, past life regression is not without its critics. Skeptics argue that the memories retrieved during regression are not genuine recollections but rather constructs of the imagination, influenced by cultural and psychological factors. Critics also point out the lack of scientific evidence supporting the existence of past lives.

However, proponents of past life regression argue that the therapeutic benefits and personal transformations experienced by individuals cannot be disregarded. Whether these memories are real or symbolic, they contend, the healing and insights they facilitate are what truly matter.

A Path to Spiritual Enlightenment

For those on a spiritual path, past life regression offers more than just psychological benefits; it's a gateway to spiritual enlightenment. By understanding the soul's journey over multiple lifetimes, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of compassion, empathy, and interconnectedness with the universe. It encourages a broader perspective on life's challenges, promoting acceptance and a sense of harmony with the natural cycle of life and death.

Conclusion

Past life regression remains a fascinating and polarizing topic in the realms of psychology and spirituality. Its transformative power, however, is indisputable for many who have undergone the experience. Whether viewed as a therapeutic tool, a means for self-discovery, or a path to spiritual enlightenment, past life regression continues to intrigue and inspire, offering a unique lens through which we can explore the depths of the soul.

Certainly! Here's an additional excerpt to include in the blog post, incorporating information about Frik-Shuhn Yoga's Past Life Regression Facilitator Training:


Frik-Shuhn Yoga's Past Life Regression Facilitator Training

For those intrigued by the transformative power of past life regression and interested in exploring this practice both personally and professionally, Frik-Shuhn Yoga offers an exceptional Past Life Regression Facilitator Training program. This comprehensive course is designed to equip individuals with the skills and knowledge needed to guide others through past life regression sessions effectively and compassionately.

Frik-Shuhn Yoga, known for their holistic approach to wellness and spiritual development, has developed a curriculum that blends theoretical understanding with practical application. The training delves deep into the principles of reincarnation, techniques of hypnotic regression, and methods for facilitating a safe and supportive environment for clients. Participants will learn how to help others access past life memories, interpret these experiences, and integrate the insights gained into their current life for healing and growth.

What sets Frik-Shuhn Yoga's program apart is its commitment to ensuring that facilitators are not just technically proficient but also emotionally and spiritually prepared to handle the profound experiences that often emerge during past life regressions. The training emphasizes the development of empathy, intuition, and ethical responsibility, ensuring that facilitators are equipped to offer a deeply transformative experience for their clients.

The program is suitable for both beginners and experienced practitioners in the field of spiritual and therapeutic work. Upon completion, participants will be certified as Past Life Regression Facilitators, enabling them to offer this powerful service in their professional practice.

For those feeling called to embark on this path, either for personal exploration or to assist others in their journey of self-discovery and healing, Frik-Shuhn Yoga's Past Life Regression Facilitator Training is an excellent opportunity. To learn more about the program and to register, you can visit their website through the following link: Frik-Shuhn Yoga's Past Life Regression Training.

This training not only offers a chance to deepen your understanding of the soul's journey but also opens the door to becoming a guide for others in their quest for self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment. It's an invitation to be part of a transformative process that can have a profound impact on the lives of those you work with, fostering healing, growth, and a deeper connection with the timeless journey of the soul.

What is this about Past Life Regressions?

Hi folks! I'm Amber. I will be writing some guest blog posts for Colynn in the coming weeks. You'll get to know me a little more with each post, but for now, I want to tell you about my experience with Colynn as a teacher and past life regression facilitator.

I first met Colynn through the online yoga teacher training program facilitated by Sacred Paths Yoga. Of all the teachers available within this course, she was my favorite. In a field saturated with gurus and performative positivity, Colynn's disarming authenticity was (and continues to be) an uncomfortable relief that I did not realize I desperately craved. She is a person who knows how to hold space for both herself and others in a way that allows us both to be human: messy, complicated, and yet divine.

What is Past Life Regression?

Past Life Regression is a phenomenon that can naturally and spontaneously occur within an age regression hypnosis session. Psychologists and therapists such as Brian Weiss, Michael Newton, and numerous others have written books that describe clients who have spontaneously begun to describe memories of another life during a standard hypnotic age regression. Descriptions of the afterlife, past lives, and the experiences between them tend to correlate with one another.

I'm a deconstructing ex-vangelical from the Bible Belt. So this revelation floored me. I wanted to know everything I could about past life regression: what it was, how it worked, why it worked, and what that meant for me. So here I am a few months later, a certified hypnotist and a guest writer on this blog. 🤷

Colynn’s past life regression training was my first step into what will likely be a lifelong curiosity about states of consciousness, hypnosis, meditation, and "the theory of everything". Colynn learned how to facilitate past life regression through the late Dolores Cannon's QHHT program. Cannon's program incorporates a unique approach that quickly brings the client to a state of deep hypnosis rather than the light trance state where most clinical hypnotism sessions tend to linger.

What does it feel like to experience a past life regression?

There are a lot of false impressions about hypnosis. One of the biggest misconceptions is the fear that the hypnotist has complete control over the client. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this is the furthest thing from the truth. The hypnotist is only a guide. You get to decide how deep into your subconscious you wish to go. You get to decide how willing you are to allow yourself to rest in that powerful place of deep relaxation.

In my case, it took a little practice to allow my subconscious memories to arise without immediately analyzing them or trying to make something happen with my conscious willpower. I eventually learned how to quiet my mind when I recognized that it was a natural state of consciousness in which I was already very familiar. You are free to "snap out of it" at any moment you wish. It is comforting to know that hypnosis is a regular old state of consciousness similar to a relaxing daydream, isn't it?

Overview of Colynn's Past-Life Training

The training was a mix of pre-recorded material and weekly live sessions with a small, tight-knit class. The small class size is ideal because we dove right into experiencing past life regressions for ourselves. Our live sessions were full of intimate insights and epiphanies about how our past life experiences related to the lessons we are here to learn in this life. This is where Colynn's magic shines. She teaches you some of her coaching techniques that you likely will not see in similar courses.

Colynn humorously recounts the initial expectations she had of her first regression. I found, as she did, that experiences from past lives are more about learning lessons than about being an Interesting Somebody. Some lifetimes may seem uneventful, unfamiliar, or mundane. I have been an electric lineman who lived a simple life with few connections to others. I have been an orphaned boy living a difficult childhood on the streets of an old English city. I have been a little girl in a fishing village who felt betrayed by her beloved ocean when she accidentally drowned. I have been an indigenous woman in the Northern Territories of Canada who did not recognize her worth outside of being a mother.

The post-regression follow-up talks were as discerning and illuminating as the sessions themselves. The past lives that came up for me have had recurring themes and souls that work together throughout multiple lifetimes, in different roles. The experiences in each of these sessions had something to teach me in this life. After sharing, Colynn was there with the piercingly gentle questions that I grew to expect. As she did so, she broke down her coaching methods for us. She focused on respectful boundaries, facilitating and maintaining sacred space, and communicating from a place of kindness and personal permission.

The class put their new skills to the test during the final week. We were required to facilitate a past life regression session with a volunteer outside of the class. We also learned some of the basics of setting clear marketing goals for a business. Again, this was where Colynn's personal experience in business coaching shone. Her targeted, no-nonsense advice helped us to get started with our business and marketing goals. future.

Experience Two of Your Past Lives

Did you know that you can experience a past life regression from the comfort of your own home? You can explore two of your past lives in an upcoming PLR session with Colynn. The next session is on January 9, 2022, at 3 pm PST.

https://frikshuhn.com/enroll-past-life-regression/

Past Life Regression Facilitator Training

You don't have to go as hard as I did, but this course is a great way to not only experience past life regression for yourself but to facilitate it for others with respectful, insightful coaching. The next facilitator training will be in May 2022.

https://frikshuhn.com/enroll-past-life-regression-facilitator-training/

 

 


Amber is a certified hypnotist that combines meditation techniques, neuro-linguistic programming, and storytelling with a gentle, reassuring approach. She facilitates spiritual education and energy work through workshops, courses, and distance sessions. Amber currently lives in a little hobbit hole with two cats and a hedgehog.

Website: www.arkadiosstudios.com

Email: arkadiosstudios@gmail.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/arkadiosstudios

Energy Leaks

Energy Leaks - Frik-Shuhn Yoga

It feels so easy to coach everyone else.

In speaking with people, it is so obvious to me where someone's blocks are, where they are going "wrong" in their lives, decisions & businesses, & what they need to do to get the results they are looking for. What makes me a good coach is not telling people these things, but rather supporting my clients in recognizing these things themselves. That being said, seeing one's own shit is not as easy. It is a consistent complaint I hear from others, that life coaches or business coaches don't have perfect lives themselves. Well ya'll, the reality is - that's true. We don't. When choosing a coach, i believe the important reality is that the coach has integrity, is authentic & practices what they preach (insert definitions here what those words mean to you).

For me, practicing what I preach encompasses both integrity & authenticity and this means that I regularly check in with my personal & business lives to ensure that I am doing my work in full support of my own personal growth & also that of my clients. The last couple of weeks for myself & my clients have been focused on clearing up energy leaks. Energy leaks are areas in our lives where we are unconsciously & consistently draining our energy on people, places & things that do not serve us but rather take away from us. And it's time to shine a light on that SHIT.

It's time to seal the energy leaks. Take a look around your life & get clear about what your outer world looks like, because your outer world is very indicative of your inner world. For example unpaid bills, incomplete projects, messy inboxes, old clothes & clutter are just the same inside as these things are detrimental to moving forward, as it is plainly obvious the person is holding on to old memories, not dealing with things, etc. etc.

Today while mulling over a friend's ex-girlfriend/friend choices in their current life, I camp up with the perfect life fixes forthem, the ways they could incorporate this month's theme into their life to clean up what has been going on for them & it hit me how great it would be for me to take my own advice... and of course, share in case you guys could also learn from this. This was really related to who it is that you have in your life and how much energy you are expending on those people.

I have heard that you and the results in your life are an average of the 5 people you spend the majority of your time with (not who you want to spend time with, but actually do). Take a look around. For me, the reality is that I am coming home soon & what I am looking at is where I am going & who I will be spending time with. My mind wanders to who I was spending time with before I left, who I have kept in touch with while away and (judge this statement if you will) how it is benefitting me now.

Energy Leaks - Frik-Shuhn Yoga

One concept that I regularly speak to is focused on looking forward to create your future. Many people look at their pasts, repeat their stories, make the same choice and this translate to creating a future based on one's past. Yet, when one makes that choice, what they are doing (usually unconsciously & unaware) is repeating a pattern. "If you keep doing what you've always done, you are going to get what you have always gotten, if you want something different, you need to do something different." So, why do you spend time with the people you spend your time with? Answer that question honestly & whole heartedly.

Personally, I found myself thinking I owe these people something :O. I quickly realized maybe not a reason to call them when I get back. A dear friend introduced me to this concept that you should leave them better than . when you found them, and I love that. AND the piece that I heard differently today was LEAVE them. What exactly is the point of continuing when it is over? If it was toxic and needed to end, what is the benefit of continuing it in anyway friends or more? Why?

So while this question plays in my head and I begin to review where my energy is going interpersonally, today, I offer you some free, unsolicited advice - where your focus goes, your energy grows - take a hard look 

Savasana

Savasana Yoga

Here I sit on an airplane to Honduras.

Last night it hit me.... I am leaving Costa Rica. Holy shit. How pivotal. I can compare this to savasana. At the end of every yoga class is the final resting pose, it signifies the end of class, the death of all the shit that has come up while doing your work, the release of that which no longer serves you. And here I am, in savasana.

I often hear from people how lucky I am. Like it is a common thing that bothstrangers and friends alike say to me. And I just can't agree (though I am magic ????)... I am not lucky, I have worked very hard to be exactly where I am right now. I have done the thing, addressed the elephant in the room, acted on faith, scared myself shitless, kept going, failed (in relative terms), taken the chance, haven't lived in my comfort zone in over 2 years, quit my job, left school, invested in myself, sold everything I own and traveled half way around the world. I'm not lucky. I took the chance.

On this journey, I have fallen in love repeatedly, most importantly with myself. I can't even estimate the amount of beautiful souls I have come into contact with, nor can I ever explain what it feels like to travel this way. Every single person special, individual, touched me in a different way, and holds their own unique memory spot in my brain. From jungle boys to adopted parents to travel partners, all I can say is thank you ❤️  

Sovereignty

Sovereignty Yoga

Sovereignty. This word had come up for me a few times over the course of this journey. At forest dance it was the theme of day 2.

Sovereignty is not a word I am completely aware of. For me I remember it in relation to the monarch. The dictionary defines sovereignty as supreme power or authority

Sovereignty is something I have never claimed for myself. I have just given it away to those around me without even knowing it. I have unconsciously asked every one around me, is this ok? Am I ok? I have remained free of boundaries so as to not offend. I have camouflaged into groups to try to fit in and I have stayed silent to not be rude. From these actions, I don't know how to claim what I want. I feel unaware of what I like. I feel unclear about everything ????

It feels easy to sit here and proclaim the reclaiming of my sovereignty, my personal power and authority, but to be honest I don't know what that looks like, what that would feel like and quite frankly it feels like uncharted territory. Scary, uncomfortable and new. AGAIN.

I will breathe and start with intention. The intention that all of the things I need to come to me that offer the opportunity to rise and choose sovereignty do come to me with ease and grace. I will have faith that where I am now is exactly where I am supposed to be ❤️ AND I will keep moving forward.

I am Queer

Blog Yoga Queer Gay Lesbian

I am Queer

You will have to excuse me, this is like the third time I have ever expressed those words in relation to my sexual orientation out loud. I am Queer. 

Queer, as defined by the Oxford dictionary, is an adjective that describes a person as strange; odd or as homosexual. Wikipedia defines queer in a much more progressive description - “Queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender. Originally meaning "strange" or "peculiar", queer came to be used pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late 19th century”.

I have lived most of my life as a heterosexual woman. I have 2 kids, a myriad of ex boyfriends, an ex husband, and grew up with NKOTB (New Kids on the Block) posters on my walls. I read YM magazine as a young girl and learned about how to properly “give head'' from Cosmopolitan magazine. I grew up cisgendered (a person whose identity relates to their birth sex) and really only ever participated in any sexy girl on girl acts to turn on a dude. Yet, deep down, something was always missing. 

Jump forward to my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training that took place with 20 women. The first time in my life I ever allowed myself to open up and participate in an all woman setting. Many of you may know the deep introspective and transformative work that takes place during such an intense time, and some may not. It was a lot. I was always a guys’ girl and could never get along with women. I would describe them as catty, mean, and ridiculous. I mean, I was in nursing and that had been my experience. I would choose hanging out with men anyday. So teacher training starts, and I allow myself to open up to these women (we won’t talk about how it ended) and in that I start to recognize just how incredible and important fellow women are. I dive into stories around my dad and recognize that my past sexual behaviours and constant attention seeking from men is related to wanting my dad to see me. From there, everything changes for me in relation to women as friends. I see the value in female friendships and I really start to feel a shift. Men don’t fully understand women, and there is this beauty in relating with another female on a deeper level that I had never felt. I started to feel understood, seen, heard and more comfortable with who I was.

I also started to express myself verbally around my attraction to more androgenous (the combination of masculine and feminine features) women to my friends and family. I felt open to share if I had a “girl” crush and spoke of some women being good looking. Yet, no one ever really caught my eye until I went to a women’s circle (I know, what happened?) and met a really cool person named Mo. We spent the evening talking about sexuality, gender, life, and feelings and I felt I opened up to the idea of exploring something beyond what I had always been used to. Another vagina.

Life is messy. I shifted careers from Nursing to Medical School to Yoga and my kids had grown up and moved out to pursue their own lives. I found myself in an unhappy relationship with a whole stack of unexplored dreams. It felt like a perfect time to shift, and I did. And as fate would have it, I met the woman that would support me in exploring another side of me that had been dormant for far too long. She was different from any other woman that I knew and she was all the things - patient, gay, experienced, gentle, free and I liked her. I was nervous to explore this other life at the age of 39. I felt too old and inexperienced, but I think I did ok.

Since then, I have struggled and questioned and fought to find a term that I can share with people around my own sexual orientation. Seems the world loves labels. Yet, I can’t seem to settle on one. Most people look at me and assume I am a lesbian (super stereotypical by the way to assume short hair = lesbian) yet, it isn’t far off. I also don’t hate men and find many of them attractive. I have been in relationship with a transman and think that I could rock a girl on girl relationship. I have no attachment to what gender or identity I will be in partnership with, when I choose to set down that road again. What I do care about is what kind of person I end up with, but that is for another blog. My intention here is to start to share my story and relate it to Yoga.

I teach Yoga Teacher Trainings. That is now my career and what I have noticed for the entirety of the last 22 years that I have been involved in the teachings is a lack of queer community, a lack of body friendly options for asana postures, and a lack of empathy for less flexible and sometimes older bodies. I feel the need to share, and educate, to speak up and to bridge this gap. I want to make teacher trainings that have all body shapes in them, not the usual 19 skinny people and 1 person with more meat. I want trainings where the whole group is over 40, and I want to host circles where a majority of the students already know about pronouns. So here is the shift. It starts with me. More stories, more vulnerability, more sharing and more education.